There are things you just lose in life, and it seems to happen constantly. At this time I know that loss is tied deeply within this pandemic, but alongside all of the things I lost I did gain something. I work at CSUN and after spring break I began to work from home. After the first 2 weeks of self-quarantine I went and stayed with my parents and my cat. Willow was born from a neighborhood street cat that we named Siamese Cat, she was a siamese cat (she always hissed at us so we never gave her a proper name) She had 2 gray cats and a white one we named Dana, the 2 gray cat sisters we named these ones cause they were kittens and they were going to be ours. Willow and Cordelia, we were all big fans of Buffy. Cordy was the sweetest thing, she ended up getting trapped inside the car engine and when it started she got hit, we took her to the vet but it was too late she died. Willow was left and I knew she felt the loss of her sister, they were so cute together. Dana always seemed to annoy Willow. Poor Dana ended up running away and I never saw her again. My oldest sister, who was married at the time, took Will but she wasn't happy there. So Willow, came back to my parents house and came back to me. I don't know what it was but we bonded, she'd sneak into my closest and just hide out and I would hear my Dad yell "La pinché gata!!!" and I would tell her she'd have to go back outside, she'd bring me dead birds, lizards, one time she snuck into my neighbors house and took chicken thighs and left them at my door. I would hear "Amy your cats!!!!" but they didn't have that mice problem after my cats were around, so they didn't get too mad. She even brought me bread once. This last month I stayed with my parents, and Willow stayed in the back with me, she'd curl up and I'd hear the rumble of her purring. By this time my parents had grown used to Willow and even though my Dad still yelled, he told me that he was the one that made sure she ate. My Mom had lost her dog Yoshi, Willow was left and my Mom would hold her and spoil her. It was the first time I saw that she was getting older, she couldn't hear me very well she'd have to see me and then she'd come. My parents told me she was getting older and probably not going to last, and I told them she was fine. I got mad at them for telling me that, I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to believe it. This pandemic thing has been with loss, but I spent a month with my cat and as I took care of my parents she was there taking care of all of us. I came back to LA and that was the last time we saw Willow. I had dreamt that I found her, she looked so healthy her coat was shiny, I held her and I told her I knew why she left me, she needed to get healthy. I held her and was waiting to go home, I knew I needed to show my Mom that she was ok. I think that was her telling me she was ok, for me not to worry.
I still don't want to believe that when I go home she won't be there. That I won't be able to hear her rumbling purrs. This is one of the last photos of her. Life is full of loss, but I had a lot of time with her this last month, time I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.